I'm getting rid of my Televisions!!!

You know I can't even imagine my life without TV and I know that it would be very hard for my mother to watch both of my children if there weren't televisions in the house to help out for an hour or so from time to time, but I really want to get rid of the televisions in my house. I think that there is so much more that could be done without them. Family time, reading, art, music, play, I don't know just so much more. BUT I'm not the one at home 24/7 so I don't think I can make that decision. After being on the job all day long I would like to come home and sit as a family and eat, talk, laugh, and just enjoy each other's company. Unfortunately, Grace is addicted to Dora the Explorer, Elmo, and Blue. How do I tell her that she can no longer watch her favorites when it is because of me she is so into these programs. Not that they have been all bad. I know from time to time she is trying to speak to me in Spanish and I just don't get it. Or the things that she will point out that she knows or things that she says are just wonderful and unfortunately I can't take credit for many of her new skills. So I guess what I might have to do is start by taking the TV out of the bedroom and when we movel, get rid of another TV and slowly as the family gets older there are less TVs. I don't know... this is just another thing I think about!!!

Where are the Christmas Movies??

I don't know about you but I am really having an issue with the fact that there are very few Christmas movies on this year. I have seen the standard Rudolph, Frosty, and Charlie Brown Christmas. I think three weeks ago White Christmas was on WGN but it is December 19th and why isn't there a Christmas movie on every night of the week? I even got the TV guide out of the Sunday paper to luck up what I'm missing. What happened to the days of "It's a Wonderful Life" being on every channel any night of the week for the two weeks before Christmas? There's no "Miracle on 34th Street" old, new, or made for tv special. I'm just really upset about this. Where's the "Bishop's Wife" or the "Preacher's Wife"? IF YOU KNOW WILL YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHERE TO LOOK.

The other thing I have noticed is gone are the days of the Variety Show. Martha even use to do a Christmas special. I don't think there is anything of the sort this year. No Bing Crosby, No Perry Como. Regis I think I need you to do a Christmas Variety Show. I'm really in the dumps about this today. I remember this time when I was growing up as a time my Mom and I would sit on the couch, pop popcorn and just be together. I loved watching the old movies with her and it is once again a time I remember as special. If they quit showing these movies am I going to lose that time with my daughter? My Mom is at our house 5 days a week right now and I have to honestly say I was hoping to spend time this week watching the old movies with her and the kids.

Well I guess I need to just deal with the fact that network TV is all about their weekly progamming and Christmas movies and variety shows are a thing of the past. I guess I need to buck up and buy all the old movies so that I can create my own Christmas memories with my children.

The worst President EVER!!!!

The following is an article I read this morning written by Syndicated columnist Richard Reeves. I couldn't agree with him more. I thought I would share it with you all.


Is George Bush the Worst President — Ever?
DECEMBER 2, 2005
PARIS — President John F. Kennedy was considered a historian because of his book "Profiles in Courage," so he received periodic requests to rate the presidents, those lists that usually begin "1. Lincoln, 2. Washington ..."
But after he actually became president himself, he stopped filling them out.
"No one knows what it's like in this office," he said after being in the job. "Even with poor James Buchanan, you can't understand what he did and why without sitting in his place, looking at the papers that passed on his desk, knowing the people he talked with."
Poor James Buchanan, the 15th president, is generally considered the worst president in history. Ironically, the Pennsylvania Democrat, elected in 1856, was one of the most qualified of the 43 men who have served in the highest office. A lawyer, a self-made man, Buchanan served with some distinction in the House, served as chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and secretary of state under President James K. Polk. He had a great deal to do with the United States becoming a continental nation — "Manifest Destiny," war with Mexico, and all that. He was also ambassador to Great Britain and was offered a seat on the Supreme Court three separate times.
But he was a confused, indecisive president, who may have made the Civil War inevitable by trying to appease or negotiate with the South. His most recent biographer, Jean Clark, writing for the prestigious American Presidents Series, concluded this year that his actions probably constituted treason. It also did not help that his administration was as corrupt as any in history, and he was widely believed to be homosexual.
Whatever his sexual preferences, his real failures were in refusing to move after South Carolina announced secession from the Union and attacked Fort Sumter, and in supporting both the legality of the pro-slavery constitution of Kansas and the Supreme Court ruling in the Dred Scott case declaring that escaped slaves were not people but property.
He was the guy who in 1861 passed on the mess to the first Republican president, Abraham Lincoln. Buchanan set the standard, a tough record to beat. But there are serious people who believe that George W. Bush will prove to do that, be worse than Buchanan. I have talked with three significant historians in the past few months who would not say it in public, but who are saying privately that Bush will be remembered as the worst of the presidents.
There are some numbers. The History News Network at George Mason University has just polled historians informally on the Bush record. Four hundred and fifteen, about a third of those contacted, answered — maybe they were all crazed liberals — making the project as unofficial as it was interesting. These were the results: 338 said they believed Bush was failing, while 77 said he was succeeding. Fifty said they thought he was the worst president ever. Worse than Buchanan.
This is what those historians said — and it should be noted that some of the criticism about deficit spending and misuse of the military came from self-identified conservatives — about the Bush record:
— He has taken the country into an unwinnable war and alienated friend and foe alike in the process;
— He is bankrupting the country with a combination of aggressive military spending and reduced taxation of the rich;
— He has deliberately and dangerously attacked separation of church and state;
— He has repeatedly "misled," to use a kind word, the American people on affairs domestic and foreign;
— He has proved to be incompetent in affairs domestic (New Orleans) and foreign (Iraq and the battle against al-Qaida);
— He has sacrificed American employment (including the toleration of pension and benefit elimination) to increase overall productivity;
— He is ignorantly hostile to science and technological progress;
— He has tolerated or ignored one of the republic's oldest problems, corporate cheating in supplying the military in wartime.
Quite an indictment. It is, of course, too early to evaluate a president. That, historically, takes decades, and views change over times as results and impact become more obvious. Besides, many of the historians note that however bad Bush seems, they have indeed seen worse men around the White House. Some say Buchanan. Many say Vice President Dick Cheney.


Mr. Reeve's website is www.richardreeves.com give feedback on this column » column archive

Have you ever googled your name?

Tonight while I was checking my email and then I was having trouble sleeping so I thought I would surf the web for a while. In doing so I thought... I'm going to google names of people I know.

I started with Don. I did that because I knew that there were some articles and NCAA articles that I could read about him. In doing so I found a web blog that was written by one of Don's former volleyball players. She didn't like him very much. I felt sort of sad that someone felt this way about him. I sometimes think that kids in today's society confuse passion and wanting the best for the student with a teacher not liking them or being mean. What happened to the days of the teacher and or adult being right, the day of the Nuns hitting you knuckles if you were bad, what happened to the day when a child did what they were to do because it was right... I could blog forever on this subject.

I then moved along to myself... I am glad to say that I could not find much about me. No student blogs nothing... BUT there are many women with the name Christy Woodard, which was my name with my first marriage. In fact there was another teacher in Illinois with the same name... IHSA got us confused at the State track meet one year. I did not look up my maiden name... maybe I will do that tonight.

I then started looking for people from my NEA Intern program. I was happy to find one person that had sort of "disappeared". I didn't get through them all but I think I have found my new hobby.

If you have never Googled your name you might want to see what you find. ENJOY

WCKG and Pete McMurray

RUMOR HAS IT PETE MCMURRAY MIGHT BE RELEASED FROM THE WCKG LINE UP AFTER CHRISTMAS BREAK!!!!

I am not happy about this at all... and if you are not happy about it either help me out in supporting Pete by writing WCKG and tell them not to make a change in their midday programing.

If you have never heard the show you can listen to it live through your computer. Click on my link to the WCKG website and click on their link that says "listen live". I promise you... give it a day or two and you too will like this show.

It is only SNOW

I can't tell you how frustrated I got yesterday dealing with the traffic yesterday. We had our first snow all in Chicago yesterday and you would have thought people had never driven before. It took me 35 minutes take Don to work and 45 minutes to get home. His truck is broke down and so we have been taking the opportunity to spend a few minutes without the kids, BUT 35 minutes because idiots don't know how to drive. IT IS SNOW!! You know if everyone would just slow down a little because it is snow and not drive like the streets aren't wet things would be much better. Some people drive like there is no hazzard, others drive like it were a 10 inch snow fall, and then there are people like me. I drive like there is wet pavement. I keep my distance, 2 seconds between me and the car infront of me, and I drive. I just can't tell you how much people who drive STUPID in bad weather get to me. I was NUTS about this yesterday.

I wonder if there is a difference in the way people from Chicago (this includes the suburbs) and people from downstate are taught to drive. First of all Don is the worse driver I know. Second, you know when I learned how to drive in the snow my Mom took me out on country roads and pretty much got me stuck so I would know how to get out of a drift, taught me how to drive with the car sliding on ice, and how to spin the car out into a donut. I know how to drive. In the wonderful words of Rainman..."I'm a very good driver." My ex-husband might disagree with that statement but he never let me drive so his opinion doesn't count.

Anyway, people people people... remember the next time there is snow. Don't drive like a maniac, keep ample space between you and the guy infront of you so you can stop if someone spins out, and please REMEMBER it is only SNOW!!!

Weight Loss... I hate the struggle

Since six weeks old I have been on a diet. Back then they switched you from whole milk to skim milk but whatever they did I have been on a diet virtually my whole life.

I have read every book, tried every diet and well finally three years ago I had hit rock bottom and decided I was going to change my life. I was close to 300 pounds, very unhealthy, and I found myself lying to guys on match.com about what I looked like. I would go on a date with some of these guys and I know that they had to be disappointed when they met me. I was just out of control. Before leaving for New York in August of 2001 I went to visit a friend who had lost a lot of weight when he really didn't need to. He told me that he was seeing a wholistic doctor and he was cleansing his body and through that he had lost weight. I left for New York deciding while I was there I was going to start working out, get a trainer, and eat right. Well, I did join Bally's, got a trainer, and continued to eat the same way I always had. I couldn't get past the food. I couldn't lose any weight. I believe that my body was so toxic at the time there was no way I could lose any weight.

In November, I got a new job in Skokie, IL and with that I knew I had to do something. I knew that I wanted to live in this area for the rest of my life. I wanted to meet a handsome man who would like to do the same things I did and I knew that was not going to happen being 300 pounds.

I called my friend and I asked him if he thought that the wholistic doctor he was seeing could help me get my weight off. He said yes, gave me her numbers, and on January 3, 2002 I went for my first visit.

As I said earlier it was all about food. I loved to exercize, I really do, I just never find the time to go, especially now with two kids and my husband... anyway... When I went to Dr. Renee for the first time I was floored by what she was telling me. She was showing me what was going on in my body by looking at my blood. She told me that my liver was full of junk and once we cleansed it my weight would start to come off. I have to tell you that I thought she was a bit of a nut at first... then she told me I had to eat all raw fruits and veggies for the first 10 days and I really thought she was nuts. She gave me some suppliments and a food list and well... I went home to have what I called at the time my last supper and began my new diet the next day.

Ten days of raw veggies when you don't even like vegetables is rough. I was lucky however in that there was a vegetarian restuarant in Evanston, not far from where I was living and so I went there every night to get a salad that I discovered. I can't tell you how many of these salads I ate over the next 8 months but it was a lot. I followed my diet almost to a "T". I would cheat from time to time, but not often. I would fast for a week once every 7 weeks. That was tough but you can do it if you put your mind to it. By June of 2002 I had lost close to 80 pounds and the weight was still coming off...

Then... I met Don. I was still trying to be good on my diet and he was very sensitive to the fact that I did eat a lot of vegetarian meals and so I didn't put any weight on while we were dating... UNTIL... I got pregnant. Now I had tried for over seven years to get pregnant with my ex-husband and nothing worked. I truly believe it was the cleansing of my body that helped me to get pregnant. So the baby was a miracle in my eyes and I wanted to only gain 20 pounds. I was trying to be very faithful and then I couldn't help it... I started to eat whatever and when ever I wanted to. I gained and gained and gained. I was so upset. After Grace was born I never quite got back on the saddle and then I got pregnant with Mac. He was a God send. I was sick most of the time with him and I only gained 20 pounds with him. After having him, my weight came off pretty easy. But now I'm one month from when I am going to stop nursing and I know that I have to get my act together again. On Dec. 23 I am going back to my wholistic Dr. and get back on the program. After Christmas day I am going to be as faithful as I was three years ago. I am an older parent so I need to be healthy. I need to be here for my kids.

So let the struggle begin. I have to have a lot of will power to make this work for me again. It is a big commitment. I am also going to join Weight Watchers so that my Mom can go with me... she need to shed a few pound also... but this way I will be accountable for my weight every week. I need to be accountable. If I follow the diet I do with Dr. Renee I will be able to eat all day long with Weight Watchers because I think certain veggies are free!!!

I will keep you posted with my struggle. If you too have this struggle I encourage you to post a comment and we can work on this together.

Independently Wealthy

Today I was approached by one of my members who said to me, "I heard that you are leaving us." I laughed at her and said, "Yeah right, if I were independently wealthy I would leave and stay home with my kids. But I'm not so I won't"

This got me thinking... if I were independently wealthy what would I do with my life. I know that I would stay home with my kids but I also know that I would still have my Mom come help me because she is the organized one and keeps my house in ship shape condition.

I think I would have to work in some capacity. Whether that be making more of my Mary Kay or Creative Memory business I could do that or I think that I might have to help with some sort of issue. I don't know what that issue would be but something. Or I might go volunteer at my church. I like the people there and it might be fun to help out.

If I were independently wealthy I would travel. A LOT!!! I think I would spend K-6th grade with my kids traveling the whole United States. I would home school them and travel to all the states see all there is to see and learn all that we could learn. I don't know how I would do this travel because Don could not fit in an RV but if we could have a custom made bus, like a rock star, I might be able to do this. Wouldn't that be neat...

I would have the house of my dreams with the biggest kitchen known to man. It would have storage space and room for at least 30 to sit and have Thanksgiving Dinner. I would have a separate living space for my Mom so she could help us during the day and then have her own "place" at night.

I would have more children. I have at least two more names that I would like to name kids but I'm too old and we're not independently wealthy so I won't chance it.

Well it's fun to think about what I would do if we were independently wealthy BUT we're not SO I will continue to go to work every day and work as hard as I can until I am independently wealthy and can do the things I want to do.

Ebay... you gotta love it...

I have just spent the last 2 hours (while my children nap) listing items on eBay. I have learned over the last year that I can make a lot more money on my "stuff" by selling Grace's clothes on eBay rather than having a garage sale. I also believe that I am going to do all of my Christmas shopping via eBay. I tell you it beats the crowds, the pushing, the shuving, and the loosing of ones wig because she gets pushed down in the frenzie!!! Happy shopping!!

Oprah Dave... Dave Oprah

IT'S ABOUT TIME!!!! I hate to see a grown man beg but David Letterman has been begging for years for Oprah to come on his show. Finally she has agreed. It's to promote her musical "The Color Purple" but she's going to be on... We'll all have to watch Dec. 1.

Those songs...

When I think of my childhood and moments with my Mom I often think of songs that were popular during a certain time of our life...What are those songs that help you remember moments in your life? Do you know them? Do you have any? My husband doesn't but they didn't listen to music like I did. I feel bad for him sometimes that he doesn't have music memories as I call them. When I look back know I'm so glad that I have those moments. I believe that I can remember so much about my childhood because I can hear a song and remember what was going on in my life when a certain song was popular. I started thinking of this subject the other day when I saw a commercial for Martina McBride's new album of old hits she is now covering. One of the songs on the album is "Help Me Make it Through the Night" which was originally done by Kris Kristofferson. My memory takes me back to a time when my Mom was dating a man named Ed. I was in first grade and I remember how much they liked this song. Ed use to come and pick my Mom to go on a date and he would steal my nose... I loved that... I remember when they broke up. I remember her pain. I know that she might think that I was too young to remember this but I remember every horrible minute it was for her. I remember her burning his pictures. I remember her crying in the middle of the night. I remember going over to the neighbors for the day so that her and her friend Carol could go shopping for the day so Mom could just get away. I remember not knowing what to do and being sad that Ed would never be coming around again. But I hear that song and it gives me a sense of love for my Mom. I really think at some point she thought she was going to marry Ed... Unfortunately it didn't work out that way.

I remember being 5 or 6 and Janis Joplin "Me and Bobby McGee" was popular. My Mom had bought the 45 (ok so how many of you out there remember what a 45 is???) and I remember her putting it on the record player and she would dance with me in our dining room.

I remember riding in the car, I believe it was a Nova, and Mom had the Carol King Tapestry Album on cassette tape. We didn't have a tape player in the car but we had a battery-operated tape player and we listened and listened and listened to that tape. I can still remember the words and whenever I hear a song from the album I tend to get a smile on my face.

We went to Florida the summer before I went into 2nd grade on a bus trip. There were two girls on the trip and they loved the song "Day by Day" and they would sing it out loud with out any background music...

When I was, I don't know about 8 years old on, I remember sitting in my room listening to that Carpenter's album and trying to get my voice to sound just like Karen Carpenter's. I was going to be a famous singer; I just had to get my voice to sound like hers.

Five girls and I use to get up in front of our music class in 5th grade and sing "Country Roads" by John Denver all the time. This was the first memory I have of someone telling me I could sing. I didn't do many things right when I was in grade school so this was a plus for me. It helped me make it through those rough days when then kids were cruel.

By the time I got to Junior High I was singing pretty regularly in choir and in the musicals my music teachers were putting together. Popular music was still a major part of my life and my friends life. One song that was very popular when we were in 8th grade was Debbie Boone's "You Light Up My Life". I will never forget the 8th grade talent show when Lisa Jones, a rather large African American girl who had a set of pipes on her that could blow you away, got up in front of the whole student body and said, "Robbie, this song is for you..." Robbie Carr and Janelle Hokenson were the popular couple, the "it" couple. Every one knew of Lisa's crush on Robbie, and there she was no fear singing "You Light up My Life" in front of God and everyone... She's was phenomenal. I remember standing a cheering her on. Janelle, Lisa, myself and a girl named Winnie sang in a quartet that year... we won so many awards. It was one of the best years of my life.

When I got to high school, from about my sophomore year on it was all about Journey and Styx. Maybe a little REO, maybe some Loverboy, but whenever I hear a Journey or Styx song I could tell you where I was... what I was doing... it was all about them...

Duran Duran, "Her Name was Rio" was my first MTV video. I was in Arizona, at an audition to get into the music program at ASU.

My first boyfriend, Brook, was "Straight from the Heart" and we ended on a "Total Eclipse of the Heart." My first formal in college was "Drive" by the Cars... the guy who took me had too much to drink and well he left me at the dance by myself. I remember coming out of the bathroom and he was gone. Or the first time my Dad came down to U of I with wife number 4 and they cleared the dance floor when they danced to "Hound Dog" by Elvis.

When I came home from college I worked as a waitress and bartender at the same place from 1987 until I think it was 2000. There was a house band called "The Movies" and variations of the like for many of the years we I was there. So many songs so little time.

My first husband our song was "Alone" by Heart. If you know the words to the song you would know that the relationship might have been doomed from the start. Toward the end of that relationship my theme song, as I called it, became "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi. I still can't hear that song without turning it up as loud as possible and singing my guts out.

Other songs during my 30's have special meanings... too many to mention tonight but oh so many...

One of my favorite memories of my friends from Sterling are those moments we were out at the "North End" and Marty was DJing and we would take his Mic and sing "Goodbye Earl" or "I Will Survive". These songs are for any girl who had ever had a bad relationship.

Don and I don't really have a song. I find that I don't listen to music as much as I use to before moving to the city where talk radio is the thing to listen to and/ or having my kids. I can't listen to Stevie Wonder's "Isn't She Lovely" or Luther Vandross' "Dance with my Father" without bawling my eyes out.

So now Martina McBride has remade "Help Me Make It Through the Night" and I sit and wonder... will Grace, Mac and I have those special songs? Will we sing in the car like I did with my Mom? Will Grace know or remember that everyday for a year I would rock her to sleep and sing "Amazing Grace" to her? Will Mac know that the new song by Carrie Underwood "Jesus Take the Wheel" brings back memories of how one year before he was born I was in an accident that could have killed me but for some reason, I believe only God can explain, a higher power took the wheel of my car and kept me alive so that I could be his mother. Will they remember times in there life like I have? Will they have a favorite? I hope so. I hope that I can bring to them the joy of song that I have always had and hope that I will continue to have.

What to do with your kids for Christmas

The other day I went to this neat little story in Homewood, Art4Soul. While there I found out that they had a room for ceramics. I remember doing ceramics as a child, and Aunt of a friend of mine had a ceramic store and we would go there on Saturday afternoons and make something. Well while I was reminising I thought of something I am going to do with my kids, hopefully for every Christmas from now until well... for the rest of my life if they want to. Starting next Friday I am going to take my kids and we are going to make a plate. Grace is old enough that she can paint her plate and then we are going to put her hand on it. With Mac, this year, I will paint his plate and then we will try to put his hand on the plate but if that won't work, then we will do his feet this year.

Maybe I'm just hoping that my kids will appreciate this activity, but I know at some point in their life they won't want to do it. I DON'T CARE. I have decided this is the thing we are going to do together at Christmas and it will be a "mom thing" that the whole family will have to put up with. I know that my husband thinks I won't do this for very long but... he can think what he wants. I think it's a great idea.

Earl... you gotta LOVE him.

It is absolutely the worse season I can remember for TV but there is one glimmer of light. My Name is Earl is so funny I can barely stand it when I get a chance to watch. I remember seeing the trailers when they were introducing this show last summer. I thought it looked so stupid and I swore I would not watch it. I take that back and I suggest if you have not had a chance to watch Earl you take 30 minutes out of your schedule on a Tuesday night and enjoy. It's all about Karma and I think that is a good thing. It is white trash America at it's best.

Top Ten songs of all time!!!

I was traveling to the state staff meeting tonight and while I was driving out of Chicago I realized how my taste in radio has changed. I no longer listen to any music. Day in and day out I listen to Pete McMurray and Steve Dahl on WCKG radio 105.9 Chicago. They even broadcast live through the internet so when I am at work or away from home I can still hear them and I never feel far from home.

So as I was traveling and losing my radio station I found myself surfing the radio stations trying to find something I could listen to for two hours. That never did happen. I channel surfed, listening to everything from Kelly Clarkson "Hazel Eyes" to Garth Brook "Two Pina Colodas". At one point one of my favorite songs of all time, "Renegade" by Styx came on some station. I was so excited when I heard the beginning notes... I played with my speaker settings to get the full affect in the SUV and I JAMMED as loud as I could take it. As I was doing this I thought to myself... What are my top 10 songs of all time. What are the few songs that when they come on the radio or if I were sitting at home what would I turn up as loud as I could and sing like I was a Rock Star? Well here is my list as of to November 8, 2005

1. Blue Collar Man - Styx
2. Freebird - Lynard Skynard
3. Renegade - Styx
4. Crazy Train - Ozzy Osborn
5. Ridin' the Storm Out - REO Speedwagon
6. Goodbye Earl - Dixie Chicks
7. Cracklin' Rose - Neil Diamond
8. Thunderstruck - ACDC
9. Wheel in the Sky - Journey
10. Rocky Mountain Way - Joe Walsh

This has gotten me thinking what are some of my other top ten list... love songs, 70's, 80's, 90's, silly songs, disco... I think I will have to work on that...

Mean Moms

I was sent this by a friend of mine... I don't know the author or I would give credit where credit was due...

Mean Moms

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that
motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you
enough.... to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would
be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best
friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to make you go pay for the bubble gum you had taken and
tell the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your
room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my
eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions
even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO when I knew you would
hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because
in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole
world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal,
eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had
to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner tha t was
different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were
convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we
were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an
hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child
Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds,
learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts
of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more
things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing
but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and
had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up.
They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone
else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids
experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing
other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are
doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.




I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have
enough mean moms!

Picking a Team

It has been forever since I have had an opportunity to write so as I sit here and watch the ALCS game between the Chicago White Sox and Anahiem Angels I thought that I might write a blog or two.

It is interesting to me the rivalry between the CUBS and the White Sox in the city of Chicago. If you are a southsider you are generally a Sox fan. If you are or northsider you are generally a Sox Fan. I did not grow up in Chicago and just growing up with my Mom I find it something that I am even interested in sports but I LOVE most sports. And well I love the Cubs, I love Wrigley Field, I love Wrigleyville, I love every part of the atmosphere around the Cubs. BUT I now live on the south side. I also feel that If you city know matter what team is winning and in the play-offs you should support them no matter where your loyalty lies. I have however also been to Sox park... the Cell, as they call it... and every time I have been there I have had more than my share of fun. I don't know if I saw one inning of play the last time I was there but it was a great time... and you can get tickets to Sox games... you don't have that luxury when it comes to the Cubs.

I never understood why people would not support their "local" teams. If you live in Illinois why wouldn't you be a Cubs/Sox, Bears, Bulls, or Blackhawks fan? I know that some loyalties might come from your parents. If your Dad grew up somewhere else and he was a fan of a certain team then you might be a fan of his team. Otherwise I don't get it.

I can't wait until my kids are old enough to go to the park I hope that we can go to both parks. I will let them choose who they want to cheer on. I just can't WAIT to hang out at the park in the summer with my family.

The NEW Fear

So I have never been afraid of flying. I sort of like it. You get on a plane and in no more that 5 hours you can be just about anywhere in the continental United States. That was going to be my life you see... before I had kids. I was going to just fly off to places near and far and see the US and places abroad.

I must say that I am very happy that I have the alternative... Two beautiful children and a wonderful husband at home. I like being at home with them. I wish at times I didn't work so that I could be with them 24/7, but I'm not so I choose to stay home every moment I can.

In a month my cousin Lauren is getting married. It is quite exciting and we are all very happy for her... the only problem is that the wedding is in North Carolina. Now in my former life it would have been great. I would have gotten on a plane and no sweat... I'm in Raliegh-Durham for a few days and I fly home. No Sweat!! WRONG!!! I have been a basket case about it since I found out.

I don't want to get on a plane.

Statistics say that more people die on the road driving than they do flying on a plane. I know this. I have had this conversation with my best friend Tonya, who is CRAZY about getting on a plane. She has always had the fear but it is worse now that she has kids. Tonya, I am sorry I ever gave you a hard time or laughed at you...

What it was I believe is that I didn't want Don and I being on the same plane and my Mom going to the wedding also and what if something happened to all of us... I don't have my will finished. (Note to self... get that done!!!) I know it won't but what if it did? Grace would barely remember me and Mac... well he wouldn't know me at all. I know that it's nuts... do all Mom's feel this way?

Anyway, we have solved the problem. Only I am going to the wedding. Don and the kids are staying home. Don may have a volleyball game anyway and for as much as he wants to go with me, because as I have told him I didn't get married to go to events alone... I need him to stay home. I thought of bringing the kids with... but we would have to buy Grace a seat... This is the best solution!!!

Do you ever wonder...

How many people are killed every year by the death penalty when they are really innocent?

Do you ever fear that someone will ever do terrible things to your children?

Do you wonder why these horrible natural diasters, like Katrina, happen?

Do you ever wonder why 9/11 had to happen to those who lost their life and not others?

Do you ever wonder why we like reality tv so much?

Do you ever wonder what your kids will do when you are no longer around to tell them what to do?

Do you ever wonder if you come back in a different life?

Do you ever wonder if a newborn gets the soul of someone who wasn't meant to die yet?

Do you ever wonder who the hell came up with the idea of the Teletubbies?

Do you ever wonder how we lifed through no car seats, mothers smoking and drinking while they were pregnant because it was ok, lead paint, no cell phones, no answering machines/voicemail, no internet?

Do you ever wonder why once you get married your friends change? or do we change?

Do you ever wonder ...

I think that I often worry and wonder about things that I shouldn't but then again I am the Mom and it is my right to worry. I pray every day that nothing terrible will happen to me or my children. I hope that I see them get married and live a happy life. I hope that I raise them to be good kids and respect their family, friends, elders, and fear the rath of God.

I can't afford my gasoline

A friend of mine sent me this cute little ditty. Click on the following link... as she told me it is a funny look and listen... I Can't Afford My Gasoline

Seperation Anxiety

They are talking on Larry King right now about children in Houston and their cases of seperation anxiety. Can I just tell you that I can't even think of my two babies being seperated from me, from each other, from their dad... I just can't even think about it. I want to live in my little glass bubble where my world is perfect. UGH this is just so sad. I wonder how many of these children they would give me if they end up not finding their parents. I think they need me to be their Mom instead of what might happen to them.

I went and bought diapers

I had to do something. I could not sit idlely by and do nothing. So I went and bought 5 cases of diapers and two cases of wipes. I just could not watch the news without crying over those kids and the pregnant mothers.

I was listening to one of my favorite radio programs, Pete McMurray, and man who's nephew is a police officer down in New Orleans and is trying to get supplies to those who need them. I couldn't listen without feeling like I had to do something. It might have been better for me to give to the Red Cross but I just wanted to do something immediate. So I went and bought 5 cases of Huggies and 2 cases of wipes. You should have seen the looks on the faces of people, especially mothers, as I strolled my cart piled high with all these diapers. At least 5 people asked me, "DO YOU HAVE THAT MANY CHILDREN?" I told them no and explained what I was doing in hopes that others would give something in their own way as well. I then got into a conversation with someone in the check out line who had family down there and they just heard from them that day.

Well, I hope that I did the right thing. I hope they get to where they are suppose to go. Even if they don't get to New Orleans but they get to those in need I will be glad.

I hope that everyone can give in some way. If you have anything think of those who have nothing. Give what you can, and be thankful for what you have.

I'm amazed

I'm up at 4:00 am today not because I'm feeding the boy; that happened at 3. I'm not up at 4:00 am because one of my favorite shows, My So Called Life, is on. I'm up because I can't sleep; I can't believe the country we live in. I CAN'T SLEEP BECAUSE I KEEP THINKING OF THOSE IN THE SOUTH.

I can't help but wonder if we were a foreign country where our rich and famous vacation would the relief effort be greater? The babies... the babies that don't have diapers, food, formula, water, even parents. I just can't even think about it. But that's my problem, I can't help but think about them. We all need to think about them.

These people stranded at the Super Dome. Why did they put the people there in the first place? I thought it was the stupidest thing to do in the first place. Now they are moving them from the Astro Dome. One dome to the next? I just hope they get help. They NEED our help.

Our President. HE'S A FREAKING IDIOT. I'm watching him right now. Talking to Diane Sawyer. HE'S AN IDIOT. He has no idea, he did a fly by at 5000 feet and tried to act like he know, feels, their pain. When you are handed everything on a silver platter Mr. President you don't know the Poor’s pain. It often amazes me how the rich white people think that they can even think they know the pain of the poor black.

I think if I were single with know children, I would be taking my vacation to volunteer my time. Why? To make myself feel better? YES. But then last night I'm watching our local new anchor that is in Mississippi. He was told not to go to New Orleans; they don't want anyone there. If they don't want people there who is going to help. I just have this horrible feeling that the powers that be just want the people who are starving, dehydrated, living in squalor to go away. How will they go away? Die? I am afraid they are being left to die. The babies. They can't leave them to die.

I think that my tithe this week is going to the American Red Cross. I have to do something. I am one of the haves... I have to help the have nots of my own country. So I encourage all the haves to give to the have nots. I just hope it's not too late.

Have you ever had a girl crush?

Girl crushes were the topic of many news programs and talk shows a week or so ago. I found it very interesting that this was such a BIG subject and it got me thinking, I have had a few girl crushes in my day. Then my friend Kelly wrote a blog about her girl crushes and I found something interesting... two girls who live way across the country from each other who are simply connected by an internship they did in 2001 and have become good friends could have many of the same girl crushes. So I thought I would write about mine. I know for a fact I have had several girl crushes over the years and they were all related to the... "I want to be your friend" feeling. I think girls look at other girls who are prettier, smarter, funnier, more talented as girls they want to be associated with. They want this girl to be their friend.

My first official girl crush and a "crush" that I still sort of have is that of Brooke Shields. Since I can remember she was the only girl I thought could relate to me. Her parents were divorced, she lived with her mom, she was 6'0 tall. Why couldn't we be friends? In high school I would do the "pose", "senior picture" we use to say and I would often think... that is my Brooke pose. I had pictures of her, I would always buy the People magazine when there was an article on her. I remember going to see her movies, none of which were academy award winners, but it put me as close to her as I could get. For a while she sort of fell off the radar but whenever I heard of something new she was doing or some show she was going to be on I would watch. Then this last year when that idiot Tom Cruise was chastising her for her post partum depression I wanted to defend the person who I wished had been my friend since about 1979. We are only 6 people away from the person we want to meet so maybe some day she will be in Chicago and I will have a chance to meet her but until then... This was my first girl crush.

My other official famous person girl crush is Sarah Jessica Parker. I can remember things that she did as a young girl, teenage years, this great show that was in the early 80's called "A Year in the Life". It was one of those girl shows that just made you feel every emotion. I think I still have a VHS recorded with a couple episodes of this show, I told my mom she couldn't get rid of it. I followed her life here and there. Marriage, baby, and then the GREAT show, Sex in the City. I think many women looked at the life of Carrie Bradshaw and thought... "Boy I wish I where her" or "My life is just as nuts as hers". I think that girls often have this wish and thought that her life is so much better than mine, I wish I could be her. We don't know what their private life is like but we see them on the red carpet, we see them acting in a show wearing all the clothes that we want to wear, and well we just wish we could be their friend. We simply have a crush.

I have had crushes on people who I have became and have not become friends with. Some friendships were short lived some were long some were nonexistent. In grade school it was Frannie, the center for the high school basketball team. In high school it was an assortment of my friends and other girls I wanted to be friends with. In college, Jamie was my first friend on campus. She had a great personality, she could wear th neatest clothes. She was oh so preppy in her pink and green and boy was that in!!! Also there was a Debbie, who I wanted for my pledge Mom. It didn't work out that way but we did become friends. She was so funny and smart, she wanted to be a teacher as did I. I really looked up to her.

My friend, Tonya, hated me when she first knew me. As many people do, I'm loud, I'm outspoken, but when you get to know me... what's not to love... ha ha ha. She wasn't married, had the life I wanted, went here and there, out with friends, doing activities I was in a not so happy marriage and I just wanted to be her friend. She wore the neatest clothes and her hair was never out of place.

Others would include Kelly, who walked in to the first night of our internship, before we actually started, telling everyone hello but she wanted to do something on her own that night. Sister friend I wish I had had the guts to do that. I wanted to be out on the town with you. Becky and Jenny, when I got divorced took me under their wing and had more fun together then people should have. Shelli, who is one of the smartest people I have ever met. And my ex-sister-in-law, Carol, she was so much fun I always wanted to be around her.

I have had many crushes on and off in my life, these are just a few that stick out in my mind. I find it interesting that this was such a major topic of discussion a few weeks back. With the books out their about dating and how hard it is for girls to read guys. We are suppose to know "The Rules" or that "He's Just Not That Into You" it's a wonder that we all don't just get really screwed up. We need to have girl crushes. With out my girlfriends and/or make believe girlfriends, I don't think I would be who I am. I would not have had the experiences that I have had. I am who I am because of my friendships with these women and many others.

I just have one question... Do guys get crushes on guys? If they do I bet they wouldn't tell us.

Tommy Lee Goes to College... Part 2

You know I just love this show. You know from the start that it is all sort of a set up but you have to admit, there is a bit of interest in the fact that you have a man who has made MILLIONS as a drummer and he is having a hard time making the marching band. Hail to the kid who helped Tommy Lee out so that he could learn the cadence. Hail to all the "nerdy" kids that are getting their 15 minutes of fame. And yes hail to all the "pretty" girls who get their 15 minutes of fame on the show also.

The reason why I think I like this show, is how many of us wish we could have a do over. Or how many of us wish we could have been the "nerdy" kid that got picked to be the roommate? How many of us wish that we were the "cool kids" that got invited to that party in their room? I guess in some way this is a way to relive those years. Have a do over if you will.

I think that I will have to write a blog entitled "My Do Over" List, I don't think I wish to connect it with my new found obsession with Tommy Lee and his going back to college. I would however encourage people to watch this silly show. I think it's a riot.

I really don't want to be one of those wives!!!

It's official... I need an Oprah makeover, to be on "what not to wear", and how to look 10 years younger all at the same time. I didn't mean to do it to myself, but I have. Before I went back to work, you could find me daily in the same T-Shirt and stretch pants. Now that I have gone back to work, I dress for work and the minute I get home I change into my big and baggy clothes that feel comfy.

I don't know maybe it is because of the nursing and I just don't want to be confind while I'm feeding the boy but my favorite things to wear right now are non-form fitting clothes. Maybe it's that I have 25 pounds to go to where I was when I met Don and I want to get to that weight before I buy much new. I know that this is not what you are suppose to do, you are suppose to buy clothes as you go through your stages but we would be in the poor house if I did that.

Why is it that so many of us forget to take care of ourselves? Why don't we worry about what we look like? I think that I often take Don for granted and I really need to remember it is because of him I have these lovely children. I bet he would appreciate it if I looked nice around the house from time to time.

Now that I'm back to work finding time to work out is also a problem. I think that it is more important to spend time with my kids than to go to Bally's and work out. I could go during my lunch, now that we have moved our office and Bally's is less than 100 feet from the office front door. If I work out I will feel better but it is that vicious cycle of trying to find and justify the time of taking care of myself over being with my kids, husband, and at work. I have to figure out a way to find the happy medium.

I guess instead of writing this blog I could be in the bathroom curling my hair since Don will be home in a few minutes, but I would rather be sitting here with my computer on my lap, Mac laying on his butterfly kicking up a storm, waiting for Grace to wake up. It is much easier to run after kids in comfy clothes.

Well I guess it's just a case of needing to remember to take care of myself and my family and maybe taking care of myself is taking care of my family. None the less... Oprah if you have an opening for your makeover show I would be glad to volunteer.

Tommy Lee Goes to College...

Call me crazy... and many of you may... but I'm really looking forward to this silly reality show that is going to start tonight about Tommy Lee going to college. I think that it is my history, and that of most of the women in my family, that we like/d those rebel guys. It might also be that I find certain stupid things humorous. I think this is going to be humorous. I have to see why NBC decided to put this tatooed has been drummer, who has been in and out of jail for reasons that are not becoming at all. I'm sure that my whole family will banish me to the other room but I have to see this show if only one time to find out if it is REALLY stupid or not.

To Vaccinate or Not to Vaccinate ... that is the question...

We have chosen not to vaccinate our children. To some that is the greatest sin I could ever commit and others commend us for sticking to our guns about this subject. I must tell you that there are days when I struggle with the decision because I worry what I am going to do when it is time for the kids to go to school, but I will cross that bridge when I get there.

I had done some reading provided by my holistic doctor, Dr. Renee Welhouse, who not only helped me to lose close to 100 pounds and who I believe is the whole reason after 7 years of infertility made it possible for me to have children. I have a lot of faith and trust in this woman and so I listened to what she had to say to me about this subject. My mother-in-law was very against vaccinations and so I listened to what she had to say. Then Don and I discussed it and we decided that at this time we were not willing to take the risk and putting our children in harms way of vaccines that contain harmful levels of mercury. We believe that there is a connection of autism to the levels of thimerosal and we don't wish to play that game of roulette with the children that we waited so long to have.

A few months back the Today show did a week long segment on autism in America. I was VERY disappointed in this show as they literally spent less than 5 minutes that there was even a possiblility of the a link between vaccines and autism. I was thinking the whole time... are people in denial or do they just not want to adress the subject. However, yesterday, FINALLY there was a true debate about this subject on Meet the Press. David Kirby, the author of Evidence of Harm: Mercury in Vaccines and the Autism Epidemic: A Medical Controversy and Dr. Harvey Fineberg, president of The Institute of Medicine (IOM) discussed the subject of mercury in vaccines at length and I am happy to say I still think that we have made the right decision. Since the 1980 when 1 in every 10,000 chilren were diagnosed with autism to 2003 the ratio was 1 in every 166, and yes there might be more forms of this neuological condition but I don't care, 1 in every 166 is way too much for me.

I felt, as did others, whom I have talked to since yesterdays show that Dr. Fineberg was on the defensive the whole time. He did little to recognize what parents had said about the changes in their childrem from the first year of life to the second and the change in the child after the vaccinations. I was shocked to also learn that over 50% of the vaccine itself thimerasol, which is over 60% more than the legal levels a child should be exposed to. What if your child is one of those 166 whose body cannot break down the mercury? Could your child become autistic? It is not a chance I am willing to take. Not at this time.

At the end of yesterday's MTP Tim Russert stated that as of 2003 thimerasol is no longer in chilren vaccines but it might be contained in other vaccinations, such as the flu vaccine, so parents could start to worry less, but it was also stated that it would take a few years to find out if this really might have been the link to autism. It seems to me the medical community doesn't want to do the research to find out if this was the link. I think there are many people worried if they admit that there was a link they will be sued and all that goes with lying to the American publice for 30 some odd years.

Mr. Kirby does say in the forward of the book that he does not recommend not vaccinating your children, that we have come a long way and the diseases that we vaccinate against are all diseases that killed children, but I don't know that I am ready to jump on that band wagon yet. I have been reading in the past day many writings of parents whose children have autism and they truly believe it was contracted as a result of the vaccines. I will take my chance. I don't think the odds of my child getting the mumps, measles or rubella and/or dying from them are as great as the odds of them contracting autism.

I will wait for the results of any research that is done in the next few years and if they can prove to me there is no link then they can shoot my kids in the arm with vaccines, until then I will continue to bug my sister-in-law for the letter she can get her hands on from an attorney that gives me the right to send my kids to public school even though they have not been vaccinated.

Breastfeeding = Bonding... BOLOGNA

I heard on the news that some time this month or week or something mothers are uniting and they are going to go out and breatfeed in public. It is something like national breastfeeding day. ARE PEOPLE NUTS???? I couldn't believe it. I can't nurse in public because I would probably be arrested because I am so large chested I think people would think I am trying to strangle my child, plus I don't know what the big deal is. If you can physically feed your child in public then do it but jeez don't make such a big deal, and keep yourself covered... I truly believe people don't care when mother's nurse in public but they don't want to see you all hanging out. I just don't get it...

You know committing to nurse your child is the most time consuming thing anyone could ever do. I tell you, the only thing I think I have time for these days is to feed my child. I know that is not true because Don and I seem to be doing many activities with our kids, we are not home 24/7 but I feel like I do nothing but feed or pump. Our schedule revolves around Mac's feeding schedule or I am leaking a river down my t-shirt. Every 3 hours I nurse or pump or both... that equals 1 hour plus. That is just a lot of time!!!

I know that I do this for my child's health. Grace was hardly sick and I know that is because I nursed her. They say it is so good for them. Plus I have lost all my baby weight plus 20 pounds and that is because you burn off 500 calories a day by doing this. So I do it. I have also read that after 6 months the bonus of nursing really drops off so that is why I have committed to 6 months. I can't believe these Moms that nurse forever... you know Mom if they are old enough to ask for it... I think they are old enough to drink from a sippy cup at least.

I have read in books that this is a wonderful bonding time for the mother and the child. Well I don't know if people really are telling the truth because they are suppose to be all motherly and such. Are mothers afraid to admit that they didn't like to nurse your child? I try to remember that you can do anything for 6 months, and that it's ok that I don't like it... I remember just grossing out at the thought of breast feeding. I use to say "No child is mine is going to be nursing on me"... we eat our words sometimes don't we. Well... I only have 4 1/2 months left and I can't wait until it is all over. I can get my life back. I won't have to feel like my chest is dragging on the ground and worry about if I'm going to be in public and streams of liquid will be running down my shirt!!!! UGH I HATE IT... but it is good for the baby. I try to remember that every time I sit down for my hour of anguish.

snake in my house

For those of you who know me well know that I don't just fear snakes... I HATE THEM!!! HATE HATE HATE them. (In fact I won't even download a photo because I can't stand to even look at them in the two dimensional) Well, I have a feeling I am going to have to somehow get over this fear. Last Saturday my husband had my daughter out in the garden and well in the tomato patch they found a gartner snake about the size of a earthworm. A baby snake... He decided to pick up this snake and put it in Grace's bug container (which is another thing I hate) and Grace wanted to bring it in the house to show Mommy.

As they came in the house Don yelled to me... "Christy don't scream too much." I didn't know what he was talking about but... as Grace got closer to me I saw what was in the container and I couldn't help it. I screamed! Grace didn't know what that was all about and I decided that I had to get control of myself and not act like this was a bad thing because one of two things will happen. She will look for bigger ones to bring me when she is older to tease her Mom, or she will be scared of the stupid reptiles and well I don't want her to have the fear that I do.

So I did touch the container, more that once and tried to act like... "Oh yes that is so nice."

I don't know what I'm going to do when Mac gets big enough to survey the property with Dad and Grace and they find bigger animals that I do not care for!!!

Why can't they just be happy with the deer that often wander in the back?

Neil Diamond

I don't know exactly when it happened or when it happened... might have been a night my girlfriends and I tied one on at the North End back home in Sterling. Might have been me just trying to give Marty the DJ a hard time every night he was working at North End. Or was it that when one of his songs was played everyone we were out with would start to sing at the top of their lungs "Sweet Caroline" or "Crackin' Rose make me a smile..." but somewhere along the line in my life time I have started to LOVE Neil Diamond. I must say that I really only like the old stuff ... you get to the 80's and well "Forever in Blue Jeans" could have stayed forever in the trash can.

Anyway I remember being so excited about hearing that Neil was coming to Chicago but I was 7 months pregnant at the time and I didn't buy tickets. Just last week the news did a clip that Neil was in town and I was sooo bummed that I forgot all about it and didn't get tickets. I didn't think that I would feel like going to a concert when I was still pregnant but Mac was such a easy delivery and has been such an easy baby that I regret not going. Oh well... I think I would have shocked my husband if we had gone. He freaks out as it is that I know every word to every song ever written. I think if I had been singing to all of Neil's songs with all the "older" ladies in the crowd I might have sent him over the edge.

I guess I'll have to catch him next time he comes to town. Maybe I can get the gals together and we can have a little reunion and they can all sit and laugh at me as they often did when I would yell at Marty... "Neil Diamond!!! Play Neil Diamond!!!"

Off the charts

We went for Mac's one month check up today. I knew that my guy had grown, but I had no idea of the change he had made. The little guy has gained 3 1/2 pounds and grown 2 inches in one month. I was shocked. With Grace, she always grew in length but she gained weight slowly and still does. The doctor told us that he is gaining 1 2/3 ounces a day and the average is one ounce. When he plotted his numbers on the chart he didn't even fall on the standards... he is literally off the chart. Grace, she is always around 95 percentile with height but her weight is always some where around the 50th percentile.

As a woman who has struggled with her weight her entire life I have to say that I am very happy that Grace, at this time, seems to have gotten the Hagemaster skinny gene. I am however hoping that Mac gets a happy medium between Don and me and he will be both tall and solid as a "Mac"k Truck. Maybe we will have a Football or Basketball player on our hands. Grace already enjoys playing with the Volleyball with her dad...

OH NO is I don't stop they will be signing me up for that show on Bravo about the Monster Parents. I promise I won't be that bad!!!

If you were dying?

I saw a segment the NBC Nightly News last week about a Mother who was dying of breast cancer and what she was doing for her daughter before she passed. I had seen this same thing, on Oprah a few years back, where a mother had done the same thing, made tapes of her reading stories, tapes of her advice about boys and growing up etc. I thought the whole time I was watching this of my cousin Rhon... was she doing anything for Lisa to remember her by as she continued to grow up? Is this something important to do? Is it important that if we were to leave this world early that we leave something for our children? When I saw the lady on Oprah a few years back, I thought to myself that was a very good idea. But is it more for the adult, than for the child. Is it the adult parents way of coping with their mortality and that they won't be around to give their kids the advice they had always wanted to? I sit here and wonder... would a father feel that they needed to do this the way that a mother might feel she needs to?

Well... I'm not sick, far from it I hope... but I have often thought I wanted to keep a log of life lessons and things that made a difference in my life for my kids if something where to unexpectedly happen to me. I have learned many things in my 40 years, and I know that since my children come from my flesh they too will learn many things the hard way. I often pushed the envelope and my Mom's buttons on a regular basis. Why? I don't know because I could. Because I was brought up to be independent. I don't know but I guess I am going to start exploring some of those things in this blog from time to time.

The following is a link to the website of the sick mother, Joelle Pauporte. She has started a foundation for providing books to kids who have a parent suffering from cancer. I thought it was a neat idea and I thought I would share.

I'm OLD!!!

Is 40 old or young???

It was when I was 15 and my mom turned 40. When my kids turn 15 I will be 53 and 55... that's old.

Or is it?

Will my kids keep me young?

People say that they do.

I know many women in their 60's who have 20+ year old children. They look great. Is it because they have younger children?

It amazes me how with Grace just 22 months ago I could do all the feedings in the night. I didn't need all this sleep. Mac however is a different story. I can get through the 11:00 and the 2:00 but at 6:00 I wake my husband up and just hand him the baby and say I can't do this one. The next thing I know it's an hour and a half later and the baby has been fed. I'm getting old... I can't even stay awake.

I never took naps... EVER... I need a nap know. Does that mean I'm old? Maybe it means I'm young? My kids take naps and they are young. Isn't it true though that young and old people need to take naps? I'm OLD.

I might be OLD but I am very lucky. I have two VERY healthy children. I have lost all of my baby weight and then some... (subject of another blog soon). I had to wait 40 years to have my kids evidentally so that I could be a good Mom. A Mom who worries about EVERYTHING, but I think I'm a good Mom. I think my kids will keep me young no matter how old I am!!! I hope that they get to do what they want to do with their lives and I hope that I am young enough to enjoy their life with them.

Is 40 OLD?

I hope not...

Super Nanny take me away...

I'm a former teacher, my husband is a teacher and yet our 22 month old baffles us everyday with the questions about what should we do with her? I watched Super Nanny before the baby came a long, plus I don't think she is on tv for the summer, and I'm trying to remember what I saw on that show and different things that I have read... I need to structure my daughter's day.

She is so smart that she scares me. She's not really big on talking but she could do it more if she chose to. She can count to four, loves to play (bang) at the piano, can tell you about every part of the body, many more things that I don't need to brag about but one thing I do know is that I need to start structuring her day. She is just all over the place throughout the day. That has really come about since ther baby has gotten here. Mostly because I am breastfeeding the baby and that takes time away from her. I have, however, told my husband that we have to get them both on schedule because it will be better for all of us. I have taken a nap away from Grace so I have to find things for her to do in the afternoon especially. Tomorrow I'm off to the teacher store to find specific activities for her. Also I want to find these black and white flashcards for the baby so while Grace is doing a lesson we can do something with Mac too. I was so good at having Grace on a schedule when she was the only one but I have lost my mind somewhat now that there are two.

I also need to get them scheduled or I can see my mother taking control when she starts watching them full time again when I go back to work. My mother has this unique way of telling me that I don't do things right but she does. I think this is the way with all mother and daughters but I really do not want to deal with it. I want to have my schedule in place so that I can tell her what I want done with my kids, not her telling me what I should be doing. I get a little frustrated that my mom will just put on a video while she does a crossword puzzle, but I guess that is the subject of another blog. Anyway, I digress...

I realized yesterday that I have a vast world of resources out there via the internet. I'm going to do some surfing of the web and find things for the girl and her family to do together. I'm going to make her have one nap a day. I'm going to get her schedule together so that things will flow smoother with her and Mac. I might have to go buy the Super Nanny book so that I can put everything into perspective. I think that I am obsessing about this because I really don't want one of those kids that people look down their noses at, and say behind your back... "that child is out of control." I don't want that at ALL!!!

So I guess I have to remember this is all still new to us, the two kids, the new brother, mom's time being divided, etc. But, I also have to start now... So anyone out there with suggestions of how to do this thing they call "Mother of 2" I will be forever in your debt.

Birth and the Human Udder

My life right now is all about feeding my child. I can’t believe how time consuming it is to breastfeed a child. I’m no stranger to breastfeeding, I did it with my firstborn, but I forgot how much time it takes. I feel like a human udder. Two big udders that every three hours gets smaller and then swell to the size of small watermelons, it is painful and backbreaking, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

In my past life when all my friends were having babies by means of natural childbirth and breastfeeding, I thought they were all nuts. I thought breastfeeding was gross, why would someone want to do that. I also thought that if you were going to have a child why not do it the easy way… just let them cut you open and get it out asap.

Boy have I changed in 15 years. I did the whole natural thing… I did need the drugs but I didn’t have to have anyone cut me open. In fact I find it hard to believe that someone would actually want to have a C-section unless it was only for the safety of the child. I have to tell you it does sort of gross me out the whole birthing process. I know that it is suppose to be the most beautiful natural thing, but I think it is the grossest natural thing. Grace was here in five simple pushes while I was watching “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” really nothing gross about her, but Mac… push one and his head was out and he started to cry. That absolutely grossed me out. I just wanted to scream, “GROSS ME OUT… GET HIM OUT PLEASE!!!” I’m glad that babies get here and become part of our families, but what happened to babies being delivered by storks or coming to us via the cabbage patch?

Not only did I do ok with the birthing thing… I’m also breastfeeding. I hate it. I hate every moment of it. People say that it is this wonderful bonding time with your child. I don’t know, but I just don’t feel that. I’m simply doing it because I have read in more that one article about the benefits to your child the first 6 months of their life if you breastfeed. I have to say that Grace has been a very healthy child and I swear it is do to breastfeeding. I know so many people who have had babies around the same time as we had our Grace, and well they have struggled with ear infections, allergies, sinus infections, etc, we have had none of that in 22 months. She has had her cold here and there but nothing chronic and nothing that has lasted more than a week. I will let you know if I have the same luck with Mac. I have had to watch what I eat with Mac. He doesn’t like certain foods. Hopefully that will go away as he gets bigger but for now I can watch my diet.

So now that I have probably shared WAY more with you than you have ever wanted to read about the birth and breastfeeding of my children… I would just like to encourage anyone who might be reading this and having child soon or someday to encourage you to breastfeed your child. It is so healthy for them. Don’t let someone tell you that you might not be able to do it, or that it is too hard. It is hard, it is time consuming, it is a royal pain in the ass (or should I say boobs), but it is the best thing you could ever do for your child. Think of it this way, if you pump and can get enough milk stored you won’t have to do it a full six months… I’m hoping that I can be done at least 2 weeks early!!! My gift to myself for not having any control over my body for 15 months is a 4 day trip to Vegas over Christmas. I hope someone will watch my children!!!

Feeling Guilty

I was so worried for the last month of how Grace would react to the new addition to our family. I don't think that she is doing too bad but I think there are things that I have done wrong with her up to this point that I am going to pay for until I break the bad habits I have created. (I can't say that I have created all the problems because I have wanted things to change but my mother baby sits for me and she doesn't always listen to what I say... I have a problem with that but that is for another blog). I also worry that some of these bad habits will be extremely hard to break because she will see that her new brother gets to do things that she use to ... why does she have to change? You know we don't want our children to hurt. When she cries it breaks my heart. I cry. When she sees me cry she cries... it's truly a vicious cycle. The only thing that I can say is that I have been really good about getting my kids on schedules and Grace has slept through the night since 6 weeks and Mac is already sleeping 5 hours at a time after his 10 and 3 feeding. I guess I need to focus my energy in breaking her habits as I do and have in creating her schedule. She is soooo scheduled sometimes it too is a fault but we are doing ok.

Grace's bad habits...

Number 1 - I still let her have the bottle. She's 21 months old and she still has the bottle. That is not good. The reason why it has gone on this long is that when she was littler she was so skinny and she hated the sippy cup so she wouldn't drink from anything than the bottle. We have found a sippy cup that she will drink from so now my goal is to get her to drink her milk from that. At 2 years... the bottle is OVER. Like it or not... tears or not... she is not going to have it any more.

Number 2 - She won't sit on the potty any more.
She use to sit there all the time. She was really good at it. I think that we sat her there too early and would keep her there too long and so now she just doesn't want to sit there. I'm trying to get her to sit there if even for 10 seconds... it's better than nothing. She is a really big (tall) girl so it is getting hard to change her on our changing table. She is too long.

Number 3 - She hates to sit in her seat at the table. This habit I will not take credit for. My mother created this problem. While home on maternity leave I am working on getting her back to the way she use to be.

You know as I sit and write these things I wonder... "Am I sweating the small stuff?" Am I worrying way too much about nothing? After all Grace won't drink from a bottle all her life, nor will she wear diapers her whole life, and surely she will at some point realize that she has to sit at the table to eat if she wants to fit in to societal norms. So it might be small stuff and I will try to remember that BUT doesn't it come in the Mom's Manual that you get to sweat the small stuff????

Where there is Life there is Death...

About a month ago we learned that my cousin Rhonda's battle cancer was beginning to take over her body. She had been admitted to the hospital and just hearing that I knew that it was the beginning of the end. Rhonda treated her cancer holistically. Doctors were amazed at how she was able to fight this rare form of cancer with natural foods, no meat, lots of greens, including something called green drink... it is not necessarily the best drink I have ever had but it is soooo good for you. Anyway, I so wanted to get back to Dixon to visit her but when I asked the doctor if I could make the trip he told me that he did not want me to take the chance. I had a life growing in me... she had death growing in her. I worried the last few weeks that Rhon would die the same day that my baby boy was born. When would the two come to fruition???

On June 30, between 11:30pm and midnight, Rhonda lost her battle to this horrible cancer. (I found out today... July 11 ... that I did not have the time and date correct ... Rhonda did die on July 1)
On July 1, 2:47am, Donald MacIntyre was born.

Rhonda fought for 3 years to beat this cancer. Doctors gave her 6 months to live when first diagnosed. She wanted to live everyday to the fullest. She never complained and she only worried about others. She has three beautiful children and a wonderful husband who were there for her. Plus she had all of our family, trying to give them all the support that she needed. Although at the end there was nothing we could really do except pray that she no longer suffer.

I found out at the funeral that Rhonda's middle name was Lee and I'm somewhat sad that I found this out too late. I actually might have let my Don name the baby Donald Lee the third had I known this. It would have been in my mind my little way of honoring her and my husband all in the same. I'm not disappoint with the Mac Daddy's name it's just that I could have had a family name... it's ok thought.

I believe that Mac now has his own gardian angel. His angel is a fighter and she will help to watch over my baby boy. One life in our family replacing that of another. It says in the Bible "the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away." I believe that although Rhon has been taken from us, she is much happier and no longer suffereing where she is now, and I believe that Mac will live up to the expectations of his family and his gardian angel and he will be blessed for life.

And the name is...

Donald MacIntyre. About two hours into labor when I was about ready to kill anyone who said anything to me, I told my husband that I would be naming this child and he had NO say!!! After the drugs kicked in and the pain. for the most part, went away I still had my heart set on Patrick MacIntyre. The problem was I could see this look on Don's face, this desire to have his son named after him but not wanting to seem like he wouldn't compromise. We had a name conversation right before we fell asleep, (5:00am) when we woke up, I said to him that we could name the baby Donald MacIntyre. I know that it made Don happy, I know that it was something he really wanted. I must say Mac fits the little guy. He is a bruiser. He came so fast that he sort of had what looked like a broken nose and bruises under his eyes like a football player.



So anyway let the nicknames begin... Big Mac, Little Mac, Mac Daddy, Little Mac Daddy, Macky... my biggest fear...Mac Donald. (Won't bother me however if some day he gets a MacDonald's endorsement deal)... It will be ok I suppose, he's bound to be a big boy and he will be able to defend himself no matter what people call him. For now he's my Baby Mac and I will gladly call him Mac the rest of my life.

The Last days of an Only Child

It has been very hard the last few days not being able to get on the floor, take a walk, help with the bath, etc. with my little one. Every day I wake up and think, "Is this going to be the last day that Grace is an only child?" It saddens me a lot because I have really enjoyed having her to myself (and her father) and giving her our full attention. I can give her everything she needs and I worry, as the second one gets very close to being here that I will forget to give her that same amount of attention. Being an only child I know that if my Mom was gone for a few days and came back with another little body... I don't think that I would have been very happy about it.

As I think about this I know that this issue is truly about me and not Grace. She gets up on my lap at night and puts her hands on my belly and pats it like she is talking to the baby. He kicks her generally from inside. It is like they are talking to each other. Maybe they already are? Maybe I don't need to worry... after all I'm giving her someone who she will know the longest in her life. Hopefully they will be thick as thieves, trust each other, protect each other... and even sometimes lie for each other. Hopefully, they both know how much we are blessed for them to have come into our lives. We are truly blessed.

SHUT UP ABOUT TOM CRUISE!!!

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT HIM!!! I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM!!! I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO ONE THING HE HAS TO SAY!!!

MY TV WATCHING WHILE ON BED REST IS BEING LIMITED BECAUSE OF THIS JERK!!! I WILL NO LONGER WATCH ANYTHING WHEN THEY TALK ABOUT HIM. I HATE BEING A CHANNEL SURFER BUT UNFORTUNATELY UNTIL THIS IDIOT IS DONE PROMOTING HIS LIFE I WILL HAVE TO DO SO.

WHAT MAKES HIM SO IMPORTANT? WHY DO WE CARE???

One more week...

One more week to be a family of three.

One more week to suffer through this heat.

One more week to enjoy my time with my "only child" before she becomes the BIG sister.


One more week to get all those small things ready that you have to do before a baby comes.

One more week to get a breast pump.

One more week to get the carpets cleaned.

One more week to remember what you do with a newborn.

One more week to re read the book Baby Wise. (To all new mom’s I can’t recommend this book enough.)


One more week to decide if I am going to do the VIA Chord program.

One more week to make sure my husband knows that he is very important to me in case for a few weeks I forget to tell him.



One more week to get all the clothes washed.

One more week to decide if I need a double stroller.

One more week to give myself three injections a day of insulin.

One more week of not being able to ice cream.

One more week to feel bigger than a barn.

One more week of bed rest.

One more week worrying about the delivery.

One more week to remember my lamaze breathing.

One more week to watch any show I want on TV.

One more week to be pampered.

One more week… until my beautiful baby boy comes into this world!!!!