Birth and the Human Udder

My life right now is all about feeding my child. I can’t believe how time consuming it is to breastfeed a child. I’m no stranger to breastfeeding, I did it with my firstborn, but I forgot how much time it takes. I feel like a human udder. Two big udders that every three hours gets smaller and then swell to the size of small watermelons, it is painful and backbreaking, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

In my past life when all my friends were having babies by means of natural childbirth and breastfeeding, I thought they were all nuts. I thought breastfeeding was gross, why would someone want to do that. I also thought that if you were going to have a child why not do it the easy way… just let them cut you open and get it out asap.

Boy have I changed in 15 years. I did the whole natural thing… I did need the drugs but I didn’t have to have anyone cut me open. In fact I find it hard to believe that someone would actually want to have a C-section unless it was only for the safety of the child. I have to tell you it does sort of gross me out the whole birthing process. I know that it is suppose to be the most beautiful natural thing, but I think it is the grossest natural thing. Grace was here in five simple pushes while I was watching “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” really nothing gross about her, but Mac… push one and his head was out and he started to cry. That absolutely grossed me out. I just wanted to scream, “GROSS ME OUT… GET HIM OUT PLEASE!!!” I’m glad that babies get here and become part of our families, but what happened to babies being delivered by storks or coming to us via the cabbage patch?

Not only did I do ok with the birthing thing… I’m also breastfeeding. I hate it. I hate every moment of it. People say that it is this wonderful bonding time with your child. I don’t know, but I just don’t feel that. I’m simply doing it because I have read in more that one article about the benefits to your child the first 6 months of their life if you breastfeed. I have to say that Grace has been a very healthy child and I swear it is do to breastfeeding. I know so many people who have had babies around the same time as we had our Grace, and well they have struggled with ear infections, allergies, sinus infections, etc, we have had none of that in 22 months. She has had her cold here and there but nothing chronic and nothing that has lasted more than a week. I will let you know if I have the same luck with Mac. I have had to watch what I eat with Mac. He doesn’t like certain foods. Hopefully that will go away as he gets bigger but for now I can watch my diet.

So now that I have probably shared WAY more with you than you have ever wanted to read about the birth and breastfeeding of my children… I would just like to encourage anyone who might be reading this and having child soon or someday to encourage you to breastfeed your child. It is so healthy for them. Don’t let someone tell you that you might not be able to do it, or that it is too hard. It is hard, it is time consuming, it is a royal pain in the ass (or should I say boobs), but it is the best thing you could ever do for your child. Think of it this way, if you pump and can get enough milk stored you won’t have to do it a full six months… I’m hoping that I can be done at least 2 weeks early!!! My gift to myself for not having any control over my body for 15 months is a 4 day trip to Vegas over Christmas. I hope someone will watch my children!!!