The NEW Fear

So I have never been afraid of flying. I sort of like it. You get on a plane and in no more that 5 hours you can be just about anywhere in the continental United States. That was going to be my life you see... before I had kids. I was going to just fly off to places near and far and see the US and places abroad.

I must say that I am very happy that I have the alternative... Two beautiful children and a wonderful husband at home. I like being at home with them. I wish at times I didn't work so that I could be with them 24/7, but I'm not so I choose to stay home every moment I can.

In a month my cousin Lauren is getting married. It is quite exciting and we are all very happy for her... the only problem is that the wedding is in North Carolina. Now in my former life it would have been great. I would have gotten on a plane and no sweat... I'm in Raliegh-Durham for a few days and I fly home. No Sweat!! WRONG!!! I have been a basket case about it since I found out.

I don't want to get on a plane.

Statistics say that more people die on the road driving than they do flying on a plane. I know this. I have had this conversation with my best friend Tonya, who is CRAZY about getting on a plane. She has always had the fear but it is worse now that she has kids. Tonya, I am sorry I ever gave you a hard time or laughed at you...

What it was I believe is that I didn't want Don and I being on the same plane and my Mom going to the wedding also and what if something happened to all of us... I don't have my will finished. (Note to self... get that done!!!) I know it won't but what if it did? Grace would barely remember me and Mac... well he wouldn't know me at all. I know that it's nuts... do all Mom's feel this way?

Anyway, we have solved the problem. Only I am going to the wedding. Don and the kids are staying home. Don may have a volleyball game anyway and for as much as he wants to go with me, because as I have told him I didn't get married to go to events alone... I need him to stay home. I thought of bringing the kids with... but we would have to buy Grace a seat... This is the best solution!!!

Do you ever wonder...

How many people are killed every year by the death penalty when they are really innocent?

Do you ever fear that someone will ever do terrible things to your children?

Do you wonder why these horrible natural diasters, like Katrina, happen?

Do you ever wonder why 9/11 had to happen to those who lost their life and not others?

Do you ever wonder why we like reality tv so much?

Do you ever wonder what your kids will do when you are no longer around to tell them what to do?

Do you ever wonder if you come back in a different life?

Do you ever wonder if a newborn gets the soul of someone who wasn't meant to die yet?

Do you ever wonder who the hell came up with the idea of the Teletubbies?

Do you ever wonder how we lifed through no car seats, mothers smoking and drinking while they were pregnant because it was ok, lead paint, no cell phones, no answering machines/voicemail, no internet?

Do you ever wonder why once you get married your friends change? or do we change?

Do you ever wonder ...

I think that I often worry and wonder about things that I shouldn't but then again I am the Mom and it is my right to worry. I pray every day that nothing terrible will happen to me or my children. I hope that I see them get married and live a happy life. I hope that I raise them to be good kids and respect their family, friends, elders, and fear the rath of God.

I can't afford my gasoline

A friend of mine sent me this cute little ditty. Click on the following link... as she told me it is a funny look and listen... I Can't Afford My Gasoline

Seperation Anxiety

They are talking on Larry King right now about children in Houston and their cases of seperation anxiety. Can I just tell you that I can't even think of my two babies being seperated from me, from each other, from their dad... I just can't even think about it. I want to live in my little glass bubble where my world is perfect. UGH this is just so sad. I wonder how many of these children they would give me if they end up not finding their parents. I think they need me to be their Mom instead of what might happen to them.

I went and bought diapers

I had to do something. I could not sit idlely by and do nothing. So I went and bought 5 cases of diapers and two cases of wipes. I just could not watch the news without crying over those kids and the pregnant mothers.

I was listening to one of my favorite radio programs, Pete McMurray, and man who's nephew is a police officer down in New Orleans and is trying to get supplies to those who need them. I couldn't listen without feeling like I had to do something. It might have been better for me to give to the Red Cross but I just wanted to do something immediate. So I went and bought 5 cases of Huggies and 2 cases of wipes. You should have seen the looks on the faces of people, especially mothers, as I strolled my cart piled high with all these diapers. At least 5 people asked me, "DO YOU HAVE THAT MANY CHILDREN?" I told them no and explained what I was doing in hopes that others would give something in their own way as well. I then got into a conversation with someone in the check out line who had family down there and they just heard from them that day.

Well, I hope that I did the right thing. I hope they get to where they are suppose to go. Even if they don't get to New Orleans but they get to those in need I will be glad.

I hope that everyone can give in some way. If you have anything think of those who have nothing. Give what you can, and be thankful for what you have.

I'm amazed

I'm up at 4:00 am today not because I'm feeding the boy; that happened at 3. I'm not up at 4:00 am because one of my favorite shows, My So Called Life, is on. I'm up because I can't sleep; I can't believe the country we live in. I CAN'T SLEEP BECAUSE I KEEP THINKING OF THOSE IN THE SOUTH.

I can't help but wonder if we were a foreign country where our rich and famous vacation would the relief effort be greater? The babies... the babies that don't have diapers, food, formula, water, even parents. I just can't even think about it. But that's my problem, I can't help but think about them. We all need to think about them.

These people stranded at the Super Dome. Why did they put the people there in the first place? I thought it was the stupidest thing to do in the first place. Now they are moving them from the Astro Dome. One dome to the next? I just hope they get help. They NEED our help.

Our President. HE'S A FREAKING IDIOT. I'm watching him right now. Talking to Diane Sawyer. HE'S AN IDIOT. He has no idea, he did a fly by at 5000 feet and tried to act like he know, feels, their pain. When you are handed everything on a silver platter Mr. President you don't know the Poor’s pain. It often amazes me how the rich white people think that they can even think they know the pain of the poor black.

I think if I were single with know children, I would be taking my vacation to volunteer my time. Why? To make myself feel better? YES. But then last night I'm watching our local new anchor that is in Mississippi. He was told not to go to New Orleans; they don't want anyone there. If they don't want people there who is going to help. I just have this horrible feeling that the powers that be just want the people who are starving, dehydrated, living in squalor to go away. How will they go away? Die? I am afraid they are being left to die. The babies. They can't leave them to die.

I think that my tithe this week is going to the American Red Cross. I have to do something. I am one of the haves... I have to help the have nots of my own country. So I encourage all the haves to give to the have nots. I just hope it's not too late.