Have you ever had a girl crush?

Girl crushes were the topic of many news programs and talk shows a week or so ago. I found it very interesting that this was such a BIG subject and it got me thinking, I have had a few girl crushes in my day. Then my friend Kelly wrote a blog about her girl crushes and I found something interesting... two girls who live way across the country from each other who are simply connected by an internship they did in 2001 and have become good friends could have many of the same girl crushes. So I thought I would write about mine. I know for a fact I have had several girl crushes over the years and they were all related to the... "I want to be your friend" feeling. I think girls look at other girls who are prettier, smarter, funnier, more talented as girls they want to be associated with. They want this girl to be their friend.

My first official girl crush and a "crush" that I still sort of have is that of Brooke Shields. Since I can remember she was the only girl I thought could relate to me. Her parents were divorced, she lived with her mom, she was 6'0 tall. Why couldn't we be friends? In high school I would do the "pose", "senior picture" we use to say and I would often think... that is my Brooke pose. I had pictures of her, I would always buy the People magazine when there was an article on her. I remember going to see her movies, none of which were academy award winners, but it put me as close to her as I could get. For a while she sort of fell off the radar but whenever I heard of something new she was doing or some show she was going to be on I would watch. Then this last year when that idiot Tom Cruise was chastising her for her post partum depression I wanted to defend the person who I wished had been my friend since about 1979. We are only 6 people away from the person we want to meet so maybe some day she will be in Chicago and I will have a chance to meet her but until then... This was my first girl crush.

My other official famous person girl crush is Sarah Jessica Parker. I can remember things that she did as a young girl, teenage years, this great show that was in the early 80's called "A Year in the Life". It was one of those girl shows that just made you feel every emotion. I think I still have a VHS recorded with a couple episodes of this show, I told my mom she couldn't get rid of it. I followed her life here and there. Marriage, baby, and then the GREAT show, Sex in the City. I think many women looked at the life of Carrie Bradshaw and thought... "Boy I wish I where her" or "My life is just as nuts as hers". I think that girls often have this wish and thought that her life is so much better than mine, I wish I could be her. We don't know what their private life is like but we see them on the red carpet, we see them acting in a show wearing all the clothes that we want to wear, and well we just wish we could be their friend. We simply have a crush.

I have had crushes on people who I have became and have not become friends with. Some friendships were short lived some were long some were nonexistent. In grade school it was Frannie, the center for the high school basketball team. In high school it was an assortment of my friends and other girls I wanted to be friends with. In college, Jamie was my first friend on campus. She had a great personality, she could wear th neatest clothes. She was oh so preppy in her pink and green and boy was that in!!! Also there was a Debbie, who I wanted for my pledge Mom. It didn't work out that way but we did become friends. She was so funny and smart, she wanted to be a teacher as did I. I really looked up to her.

My friend, Tonya, hated me when she first knew me. As many people do, I'm loud, I'm outspoken, but when you get to know me... what's not to love... ha ha ha. She wasn't married, had the life I wanted, went here and there, out with friends, doing activities I was in a not so happy marriage and I just wanted to be her friend. She wore the neatest clothes and her hair was never out of place.

Others would include Kelly, who walked in to the first night of our internship, before we actually started, telling everyone hello but she wanted to do something on her own that night. Sister friend I wish I had had the guts to do that. I wanted to be out on the town with you. Becky and Jenny, when I got divorced took me under their wing and had more fun together then people should have. Shelli, who is one of the smartest people I have ever met. And my ex-sister-in-law, Carol, she was so much fun I always wanted to be around her.

I have had many crushes on and off in my life, these are just a few that stick out in my mind. I find it interesting that this was such a major topic of discussion a few weeks back. With the books out their about dating and how hard it is for girls to read guys. We are suppose to know "The Rules" or that "He's Just Not That Into You" it's a wonder that we all don't just get really screwed up. We need to have girl crushes. With out my girlfriends and/or make believe girlfriends, I don't think I would be who I am. I would not have had the experiences that I have had. I am who I am because of my friendships with these women and many others.

I just have one question... Do guys get crushes on guys? If they do I bet they wouldn't tell us.

Tommy Lee Goes to College... Part 2

You know I just love this show. You know from the start that it is all sort of a set up but you have to admit, there is a bit of interest in the fact that you have a man who has made MILLIONS as a drummer and he is having a hard time making the marching band. Hail to the kid who helped Tommy Lee out so that he could learn the cadence. Hail to all the "nerdy" kids that are getting their 15 minutes of fame. And yes hail to all the "pretty" girls who get their 15 minutes of fame on the show also.

The reason why I think I like this show, is how many of us wish we could have a do over. Or how many of us wish we could have been the "nerdy" kid that got picked to be the roommate? How many of us wish that we were the "cool kids" that got invited to that party in their room? I guess in some way this is a way to relive those years. Have a do over if you will.

I think that I will have to write a blog entitled "My Do Over" List, I don't think I wish to connect it with my new found obsession with Tommy Lee and his going back to college. I would however encourage people to watch this silly show. I think it's a riot.

I really don't want to be one of those wives!!!

It's official... I need an Oprah makeover, to be on "what not to wear", and how to look 10 years younger all at the same time. I didn't mean to do it to myself, but I have. Before I went back to work, you could find me daily in the same T-Shirt and stretch pants. Now that I have gone back to work, I dress for work and the minute I get home I change into my big and baggy clothes that feel comfy.

I don't know maybe it is because of the nursing and I just don't want to be confind while I'm feeding the boy but my favorite things to wear right now are non-form fitting clothes. Maybe it's that I have 25 pounds to go to where I was when I met Don and I want to get to that weight before I buy much new. I know that this is not what you are suppose to do, you are suppose to buy clothes as you go through your stages but we would be in the poor house if I did that.

Why is it that so many of us forget to take care of ourselves? Why don't we worry about what we look like? I think that I often take Don for granted and I really need to remember it is because of him I have these lovely children. I bet he would appreciate it if I looked nice around the house from time to time.

Now that I'm back to work finding time to work out is also a problem. I think that it is more important to spend time with my kids than to go to Bally's and work out. I could go during my lunch, now that we have moved our office and Bally's is less than 100 feet from the office front door. If I work out I will feel better but it is that vicious cycle of trying to find and justify the time of taking care of myself over being with my kids, husband, and at work. I have to figure out a way to find the happy medium.

I guess instead of writing this blog I could be in the bathroom curling my hair since Don will be home in a few minutes, but I would rather be sitting here with my computer on my lap, Mac laying on his butterfly kicking up a storm, waiting for Grace to wake up. It is much easier to run after kids in comfy clothes.

Well I guess it's just a case of needing to remember to take care of myself and my family and maybe taking care of myself is taking care of my family. None the less... Oprah if you have an opening for your makeover show I would be glad to volunteer.

Tommy Lee Goes to College...

Call me crazy... and many of you may... but I'm really looking forward to this silly reality show that is going to start tonight about Tommy Lee going to college. I think that it is my history, and that of most of the women in my family, that we like/d those rebel guys. It might also be that I find certain stupid things humorous. I think this is going to be humorous. I have to see why NBC decided to put this tatooed has been drummer, who has been in and out of jail for reasons that are not becoming at all. I'm sure that my whole family will banish me to the other room but I have to see this show if only one time to find out if it is REALLY stupid or not.

To Vaccinate or Not to Vaccinate ... that is the question...

We have chosen not to vaccinate our children. To some that is the greatest sin I could ever commit and others commend us for sticking to our guns about this subject. I must tell you that there are days when I struggle with the decision because I worry what I am going to do when it is time for the kids to go to school, but I will cross that bridge when I get there.

I had done some reading provided by my holistic doctor, Dr. Renee Welhouse, who not only helped me to lose close to 100 pounds and who I believe is the whole reason after 7 years of infertility made it possible for me to have children. I have a lot of faith and trust in this woman and so I listened to what she had to say to me about this subject. My mother-in-law was very against vaccinations and so I listened to what she had to say. Then Don and I discussed it and we decided that at this time we were not willing to take the risk and putting our children in harms way of vaccines that contain harmful levels of mercury. We believe that there is a connection of autism to the levels of thimerosal and we don't wish to play that game of roulette with the children that we waited so long to have.

A few months back the Today show did a week long segment on autism in America. I was VERY disappointed in this show as they literally spent less than 5 minutes that there was even a possiblility of the a link between vaccines and autism. I was thinking the whole time... are people in denial or do they just not want to adress the subject. However, yesterday, FINALLY there was a true debate about this subject on Meet the Press. David Kirby, the author of Evidence of Harm: Mercury in Vaccines and the Autism Epidemic: A Medical Controversy and Dr. Harvey Fineberg, president of The Institute of Medicine (IOM) discussed the subject of mercury in vaccines at length and I am happy to say I still think that we have made the right decision. Since the 1980 when 1 in every 10,000 chilren were diagnosed with autism to 2003 the ratio was 1 in every 166, and yes there might be more forms of this neuological condition but I don't care, 1 in every 166 is way too much for me.

I felt, as did others, whom I have talked to since yesterdays show that Dr. Fineberg was on the defensive the whole time. He did little to recognize what parents had said about the changes in their childrem from the first year of life to the second and the change in the child after the vaccinations. I was shocked to also learn that over 50% of the vaccine itself thimerasol, which is over 60% more than the legal levels a child should be exposed to. What if your child is one of those 166 whose body cannot break down the mercury? Could your child become autistic? It is not a chance I am willing to take. Not at this time.

At the end of yesterday's MTP Tim Russert stated that as of 2003 thimerasol is no longer in chilren vaccines but it might be contained in other vaccinations, such as the flu vaccine, so parents could start to worry less, but it was also stated that it would take a few years to find out if this really might have been the link to autism. It seems to me the medical community doesn't want to do the research to find out if this was the link. I think there are many people worried if they admit that there was a link they will be sued and all that goes with lying to the American publice for 30 some odd years.

Mr. Kirby does say in the forward of the book that he does not recommend not vaccinating your children, that we have come a long way and the diseases that we vaccinate against are all diseases that killed children, but I don't know that I am ready to jump on that band wagon yet. I have been reading in the past day many writings of parents whose children have autism and they truly believe it was contracted as a result of the vaccines. I will take my chance. I don't think the odds of my child getting the mumps, measles or rubella and/or dying from them are as great as the odds of them contracting autism.

I will wait for the results of any research that is done in the next few years and if they can prove to me there is no link then they can shoot my kids in the arm with vaccines, until then I will continue to bug my sister-in-law for the letter she can get her hands on from an attorney that gives me the right to send my kids to public school even though they have not been vaccinated.

Breastfeeding = Bonding... BOLOGNA

I heard on the news that some time this month or week or something mothers are uniting and they are going to go out and breatfeed in public. It is something like national breastfeeding day. ARE PEOPLE NUTS???? I couldn't believe it. I can't nurse in public because I would probably be arrested because I am so large chested I think people would think I am trying to strangle my child, plus I don't know what the big deal is. If you can physically feed your child in public then do it but jeez don't make such a big deal, and keep yourself covered... I truly believe people don't care when mother's nurse in public but they don't want to see you all hanging out. I just don't get it...

You know committing to nurse your child is the most time consuming thing anyone could ever do. I tell you, the only thing I think I have time for these days is to feed my child. I know that is not true because Don and I seem to be doing many activities with our kids, we are not home 24/7 but I feel like I do nothing but feed or pump. Our schedule revolves around Mac's feeding schedule or I am leaking a river down my t-shirt. Every 3 hours I nurse or pump or both... that equals 1 hour plus. That is just a lot of time!!!

I know that I do this for my child's health. Grace was hardly sick and I know that is because I nursed her. They say it is so good for them. Plus I have lost all my baby weight plus 20 pounds and that is because you burn off 500 calories a day by doing this. So I do it. I have also read that after 6 months the bonus of nursing really drops off so that is why I have committed to 6 months. I can't believe these Moms that nurse forever... you know Mom if they are old enough to ask for it... I think they are old enough to drink from a sippy cup at least.

I have read in books that this is a wonderful bonding time for the mother and the child. Well I don't know if people really are telling the truth because they are suppose to be all motherly and such. Are mothers afraid to admit that they didn't like to nurse your child? I try to remember that you can do anything for 6 months, and that it's ok that I don't like it... I remember just grossing out at the thought of breast feeding. I use to say "No child is mine is going to be nursing on me"... we eat our words sometimes don't we. Well... I only have 4 1/2 months left and I can't wait until it is all over. I can get my life back. I won't have to feel like my chest is dragging on the ground and worry about if I'm going to be in public and streams of liquid will be running down my shirt!!!! UGH I HATE IT... but it is good for the baby. I try to remember that every time I sit down for my hour of anguish.

snake in my house

For those of you who know me well know that I don't just fear snakes... I HATE THEM!!! HATE HATE HATE them. (In fact I won't even download a photo because I can't stand to even look at them in the two dimensional) Well, I have a feeling I am going to have to somehow get over this fear. Last Saturday my husband had my daughter out in the garden and well in the tomato patch they found a gartner snake about the size of a earthworm. A baby snake... He decided to pick up this snake and put it in Grace's bug container (which is another thing I hate) and Grace wanted to bring it in the house to show Mommy.

As they came in the house Don yelled to me... "Christy don't scream too much." I didn't know what he was talking about but... as Grace got closer to me I saw what was in the container and I couldn't help it. I screamed! Grace didn't know what that was all about and I decided that I had to get control of myself and not act like this was a bad thing because one of two things will happen. She will look for bigger ones to bring me when she is older to tease her Mom, or she will be scared of the stupid reptiles and well I don't want her to have the fear that I do.

So I did touch the container, more that once and tried to act like... "Oh yes that is so nice."

I don't know what I'm going to do when Mac gets big enough to survey the property with Dad and Grace and they find bigger animals that I do not care for!!!

Why can't they just be happy with the deer that often wander in the back?

Neil Diamond

I don't know exactly when it happened or when it happened... might have been a night my girlfriends and I tied one on at the North End back home in Sterling. Might have been me just trying to give Marty the DJ a hard time every night he was working at North End. Or was it that when one of his songs was played everyone we were out with would start to sing at the top of their lungs "Sweet Caroline" or "Crackin' Rose make me a smile..." but somewhere along the line in my life time I have started to LOVE Neil Diamond. I must say that I really only like the old stuff ... you get to the 80's and well "Forever in Blue Jeans" could have stayed forever in the trash can.

Anyway I remember being so excited about hearing that Neil was coming to Chicago but I was 7 months pregnant at the time and I didn't buy tickets. Just last week the news did a clip that Neil was in town and I was sooo bummed that I forgot all about it and didn't get tickets. I didn't think that I would feel like going to a concert when I was still pregnant but Mac was such a easy delivery and has been such an easy baby that I regret not going. Oh well... I think I would have shocked my husband if we had gone. He freaks out as it is that I know every word to every song ever written. I think if I had been singing to all of Neil's songs with all the "older" ladies in the crowd I might have sent him over the edge.

I guess I'll have to catch him next time he comes to town. Maybe I can get the gals together and we can have a little reunion and they can all sit and laugh at me as they often did when I would yell at Marty... "Neil Diamond!!! Play Neil Diamond!!!"

Off the charts

We went for Mac's one month check up today. I knew that my guy had grown, but I had no idea of the change he had made. The little guy has gained 3 1/2 pounds and grown 2 inches in one month. I was shocked. With Grace, she always grew in length but she gained weight slowly and still does. The doctor told us that he is gaining 1 2/3 ounces a day and the average is one ounce. When he plotted his numbers on the chart he didn't even fall on the standards... he is literally off the chart. Grace, she is always around 95 percentile with height but her weight is always some where around the 50th percentile.

As a woman who has struggled with her weight her entire life I have to say that I am very happy that Grace, at this time, seems to have gotten the Hagemaster skinny gene. I am however hoping that Mac gets a happy medium between Don and me and he will be both tall and solid as a "Mac"k Truck. Maybe we will have a Football or Basketball player on our hands. Grace already enjoys playing with the Volleyball with her dad...

OH NO is I don't stop they will be signing me up for that show on Bravo about the Monster Parents. I promise I won't be that bad!!!