I'm grumpy... just deal with it

You know at 36 weeks pregnant I think that I deserve a few days of being grumpy.

Friday was one of those days. I had very little sleep. The girl did not want to sleep the night before and so I was up with her until 3am and then I woke up at 6:30 with terrible pains in my pregnant belly. I knew those pains... CONTRACTIONS. The problem is... it is too early to feel this way. I then look over at my husband, who is sleeping like a baby, and I start to get angry. This is when my grumpiness started. I have been up with the girl, he did help a little bit but he just cannot function in the middle of the night so I generally don't ask for help... (My trade off is that I make him change ALOT of diapers!!!) I am very envious of the fact that he can sleep and I can't.

So around 8:30 the girl and her dad wake up and we start to get ready to go to the doctor. I was really hoping that we could leave at just the right time so that she would sleep the hour up to Evanston and be in a good mood the whole day. Why would I think that would actually happen? We were late getting in the car so she was overtired from the start and did not sleep the whole way up there. Then we made her walk and walk and walk so that she would sleep between appointments. I could only be that lucky. She chose to sleep once and it could not have been more than 20 minutes!!!

We get to my Non-stress test and sure enough, I'm having contractions and they are about 8 minutes apart. No one seems to be too worried about it. EXCEPT ME!!! I have four more days to work... I need to work and I'm worried about what I am going to do. I'm also worried that Don starts his new volleyball job on Monday and what is going to happen if I have this baby early? How do I get hold of my Mom and get her to our house as soon as possible? I don't have a suitcase, not just that but I'm not even packed. We haven't gotten anything ready for this baby, and I'm starting feeling guilty. Why am I so laid back about getting things ready for this one? He's just as important as Grace. Am I just that much busier? UGH.. calgon take me away!!!

We get to my doctor's appointment and my blood pressure is sky high. He does an exam and tells me that I'm starting to get ready to have this baby... dilated one centimeter and he could feel the head. Well I'm thinking... what does that mean? Do I go to the hospital? Am I sending my husband and child home to pack for me??? What are we doing? Thank goodness my doctor and Don are so laid back because... I'M NOT AT THIS POINT!!! He has the nurse check my blood pressure one more time and then informs me that I am not going back to work. I am to go home and rest. Not do anything just rest. Call if I have a head ache. Call if I have blurred vision. Otherwise just rest, hopefully the contractions will go away and we will get our 3 weeks in. He then informs me I have to do this HORRIBLE test, that I won't go into but it involves 24 hours and finding out if I am expelling protein. I HATE THIS TEST!!! And then he tells me I have to come back on Monday. So next week I have to go to the doctor Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday... unless I have the baby first. But I can't have the baby for the next two weeks because Don has volleyball camp at his new job. (DO YOU SEE THE CRAZY THINGS THAT RUN THROUGH A PREGNANT MOTHER'S MIND???!!!!!)

So then we decide that we should go get something to eat to avoid the rush hour traffic. Well our girl, who is use to eating out, and is generally really good at a restaurant, decides to through a FIT! She was soooo tired, because she never had more that a 20-minute nap all day. I'm so embarrassed. People are looking at us. At that point I told Don I was not going make these people around us suffer for our sake... so we got up and left.

You know it was one of those days. It has been one of those weekends. I tried to explain it to Don yesterday. Everything just goes along fine... I'm fine... I'm fine... I'm fine... all of a sudden... I PANIC... I have to do this I have to do that... I need his help... I can't keep up with the girl... we don't have a name... we have nothing done... I BITE DON'S HEAD OFF... I CRY... I'm fine... I'm fine ... I'm fine...

So I finally just told him and my family, I'm grumpy and they are going to have to just deal with it. Right now... they are all sleeping and I'm up because I'm not feeling the greatest, but this is a great time. No one to bother me. Nothing to think about really. I think that I will go make me some breakfast. Maybe send them to church and I can relax for a while longer. Then it will be back to a day of I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine... I PANIC.